21 writers and organizers on found family, hacking adulthood, and other lessons communal living can teach us about the future of housing in America
Featuring Kristen Arnett, Rhaina Cohen, Kim Stanley Robinson, and more
At age 29, when Samantha Paige Rosen made an unexpected move back home, she was surprised to find how much she loved living with her parents again. Inspired and curious, she began searching for others who had redefined home and community.
The essays and Q&As in Living, Together are about carving out spaces of communal connection and joy in our 3-bed, 2-bath starter home culture. Although they recount life at different stages and in different regions, these stories showcase the delights and tradeoffs of more dynamic shapes of “home.” Across sections on family, intentional community, and what lies beyond housing, readers will hear from voices like:
- Kristen Arnett, whose found family kept her afloat, from weddings to hurricane season and everything in between
- Kim Stanley Robinson, who describes the magic of communities that are led by everyone
- Sarah Thankam Mathews, who founded a pandemic mutual aid group and discovered, like so many of us, how essential connection and care are in times of crisis
- Rodney M. Bordeaux, who explores how strength and unity are inextricably tied to life on First Nations reservations
Communal living isn’t just for cults or millennials with a pipe dream. Amidst the climate crisis, a hostile housing market, and the loneliness epidemic, Living, Together opens a window into how people in the US are thriving through collective care. This book invites us to imagine what new opportunities for connection exist when we push through the walls society has built for us.
“Rigorous, funny, authentic, and informative. I came away feeling 10 percent more hopeful about how we will possibly live now and 10 percent less dead inside.”
—Emma Copley Eisenberg, author of Housemates
“A powerful, generous reframing of what it means to build a life—a reminder that connection, interdependence, and shared responsibility are not fringe experiments but ancient inherently human qualities that have the power to heal the world.”
—Sophie Lucido Johnson, author of Kin: The Future of Family
“No need for a total commune vision; this book lifts up the joys of cohabiting with friends, family, and chosen family even if only for a short while. And, crucially, the stories teach us how to envision living together, navigate the reality, and depart with gratitude and grace.”
—Casper ter Kuile, author of The Power of Ritual
“If you desire a life that breaks from the well-worn path of marriage and kids and a big house in the burbs, if you wish for a life that is less a reflection of society’s defaults and more of a work of art—one that reflects your creativity, desires, and grandest vision of what makes a good life—then you must read this book.”
—Dr. Marisa G. Franco, author of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends
“How perfect that this celebration of collaborative, collective life should be such a joint effort—a chorus of voices coming together to offer a generous, expansive vision of what modern life can look like for those willing to think outside the box.”
—Lilly Dancyger, author of First Love: Essays on Friendship
Introduction: Home Is Other People
PART I: FAMILY HOMES
Survival of the Connected / Elizabeth Hart Bergstrom
Learning to live more like animals
You and I Were Roommates Once / Adam Vitcavage
A sibling relationship gets a reboot
Q&A with Jonathan Escoffery
Our shared responsibility, according to a third-culture kid
Renovations and Rebirths / Dani McClain
A stroke brings three generations of women under one roof
A Polyamorous Commitment / Alex Alberto
Building a family without a blueprint
Come with Us / Hannah Grieco
Saying yes to help when it’s needed most
PART II: INTENTIONAL COMMUNITIES
The Life and Afterlife of a Shared Home / Rhaina Cohen
Hacking adulthood with housemates
Q&A with Suanne Carlson
Rediscovering home on the road
The Art of Aging in Community / Kate Madden Yee
How do we decide where to grow old?
Returning to Ospaye / Rodney M. Bordeaux
A tribal leader describes community before colonization
Q&A with Tiffany Harris
A search for belonging leads to communal living
Hello to All This / Gabrielle Korn
Turning a real estate investment into an artist residency
Q&A with Hank Gamel and Fran Biederman
An experiment in intergenerational living
The Myth of Stable Ground / Amanda E. Machado
The political nature of a queer BIPOC home
Enough Is as Good as a Feast / Kim Stanley Robinson
Harvesting a community led by everyone
PART III: BEYOND HOUSING
The Shared Secret of Our Lives / Simone Gorrindo
Military wives become more than emergency contacts
Q&A with Mary Anne Adams
Ensuring Black lesbian elders aren’t left behind
Drag in This House / Jake Montano aka Imelda Glucose
Resilience through community art and expression
Q&A with Adam Meyer
Anyone can throw a dinner party
The Opposite of Loneliness / Sarah Thankam Mathews
Are people the answer?
Weathering / Kristen Arnett
Finding family love and acceptance, at last
About the Contributors
About the Editor
Acknowledgments
Credits
Notes
- “A Penn Valley writer had a choice about how her life could look. She picked her parents,” Philadelphia Inquirer, feature and author profile
- “The case for communal living,” 1A NPR, live interview
- “The Life and Afterlife of a Shared Home,” The Auntie Bulletin, Substack excerpt
- “Why more adult children are living with their parents,” Studio 2/WHYY, live interview
- “It took living with my parents in adulthood to understand how great communal living really is,” WBUR’s Cognoscenti, essay
- “A Literary Case for Intentional Communities: A Conversation with Samantha Paige Rosen,” The Rumpus, Q&A with Emma Bolden
- “Communal Living Can Save Us,” Autostraddle, review
- “The Best New Books to Read This Summer, According to ELLE Editors,” ELLE Magazine, included in reading roundup
- “Hard-Earned Patience: An Interview with Hannah Grieco,” MUTHA Magazine, Q&A between Samantha Rosen and Hannah Greico
- “Come With Us,” MUTHA Magazine, excerpt
- “I’m Part of a Polyamorous Family. Here’s What It’s Like,” The Walrus, excerpt
- “The Art of Aging in Community,” Oldster, Substack excerpt
- “Living, Together: Reimagining Community in the Age of Disconnection,” Jewish Book Council, review
- “After living with my parents for 6 years, we’re now neighbors. We have plenty of the benefits of living together, but more privacy,” Business Insider, author piece tied to collection
- “Living, Together: Reimagining Community in the Age of Disconnection, Edited by Samantha Paige Rosen,” Hippocampus Magazine, review
- “You can decide the structure of how you live,” Referential, Substack Q&A
- “Our Most Anticipated Queer Books for July 2026,” Autostraddle, included in reading roundup
- “Let’s go in on the American dream, together,” High Country News, review
- “7 of the Best New Nonfiction Releases of July,” Book Riot, included in reading roundup
- “Labor of Love: On Editing and the Rewards of Collaborative Effort,” Literary Hub, original essay
- “Blow Dryers, Brunch, and Best Friends: Drag Houses Are Communal Living at Its Best,” THEM, excerpt
- “The Most Anticipated Queer Books for Summer 2026,” Electric Literature, included in reading roundup
- “Being Queer Cost Me My Family, But Gave Me Another,” Oprah Daily, excerpt
- “See the Cover for Living, Together, an Essay Anthology Edited by Samantha Paige Rosen,” Debutiful, cover and contributor reveal
Living, Together: Reimagining Community in an Age of Disconnection, edited by Samantha Paige Rosen
Readers’ Guide Discussion Questions
Download the discussion guide.
- The writers and organizers in Living, Together reflect on what they learned growing up about independence, the nuclear family, and the concept of home. What cultural narratives or personal assumptions have shaped the way you think about these things? How has this book invited you to look at them differently?
- Many of our ideas of what makes a home are rooted in heteronormative and gendered assumptions. How did the essayists disrupt these assumptions through communal living? Did their situations make you think differently about your definition of “home” and how yours functions?
- This anthology offers a glimpse into how other cultures and countries prioritize community over the individual. What lessons can Americans learn from these stories? How might we look to these cultures’ traditions to expand and deepen the Americanized ideals of “home” and “community”?
- This book speaks to a sense of collective identity among folks who live together. How does communal living inform that sense of collective identity and what communities may benefit most from it?
- Chronic illness is largely excluded from dominant American narratives of independence and nuclear family life. In what ways does Living, Together show us how communal living can serve physical, social, and emotional needs, especially for those who are chronically ill?
- Family relationships can shift with communal living, especially in multigenerational households or caregiving situations. If you are in a shared living situation with family, what role has communal life played in how you relate to each other? If you are not, consider how your family relationships might change in such a scenario.
- This book celebrates “chosen family” or family that doesn’t adhere to traditional nuclear standards. How do the essayists reject the idea that, to lead a full life, one must have the love and support of their biological family? How has your own chosen family enriched your life?
- As more people live to old age, compassionate conversations around aging and elder care are essential. How do the Living, Together essayists approach these topics through communal living? How do their experiences speak to your own thoughts, feelings, or anxieties about aging and caregiving?
- Throughout the book, essayists emphasize the importance of communication and intentionality. How do these values nurture your own relationships, and how might they foster thriving communal living arrangements?
- This collection also acknowledges the costs of communal living and interdependence. What obstacles did the essayists prepare for or encounter? Which challenges might you face with communal living and how would you approach them?
- Some communal living scenarios are temporary, whether by design or circumstance. How did this book make you think differently (or perhaps for the first time) about short-term living arrangements?
- The last section of Living, Together explores a kind of “communal living” that extends beyond housing structures. What does it mean to have “a communal mindset” and how might you bring it into your daily life?